Borrowed: Swistle

It has come to my attention that the dreary but necessary "last post" has been lingering for weeks. Time for something cheery! Except I'm too tired because SOMEONE decided it would be a good idea to take a vacation mid-December and SOMEONE ELSE decided she couldn't possibly accomplish that without large amounts of online shopping and guidebook-reading beforehand.

I digress.

The Holiday Season is upon us, folks, and what better way to celebrate them than by judging others who are just trying to do something nice! (I kid. Seriously, Swistle. Don't hate on me.) I bring you...."Swistle's Christmas Card Scoring System!" (The original post can be found here. Also, you can shop here for your own Swistle merchandise.)

By my calculations, my own card will receive a TWENTY-TWO! If you're one of the lucky few to receive one, I'm curious to know if we come up with the same score.

Enjoy!

"The C.C.S.S. (also called the H.C.S.S---Holiday Card Scoring System) is for those of us who look forward all year to receiving cards. It reflects how happy we are to receive them---and how our happiness increases when there are bonus thrill items such as photos and newsletters and prettiness. Lower scores are not bad: ANY Christmas card is a thrill to receive, and the higher scores of other cards don't make lower-scored cards look bad: 5 points is like a grade of A, and anything higher is extra credit.

Card received: +5
Card received before December 1st: -1
Card received after December 25th: -1
Card is pretty, and looks nice on wall: +3
Card is glittery: +1
Card sheds that glitter: -2
Card is shiny / has metallic accents: +1
Card does not contain card, but only letter, so there is nothing to put up on wall: -5
Card is e-card: -5

Card includes photo or is photo card: +5
More than one photo: +2 each additional photo
Photo is non-Christmassy so will look good on fridge all year: +1
Photo is Christmassy so increases holiday feeling of card: +1
Red-eye causes family to appear possessed by evil Christmas spirit: -1
Photo was taken on beach this past summer in summer clothing, so family looks chilly against winter pattern of card: -1
Photo includes dogs with glowing eyes who seem poised to eat humans: -1

Card includes letter: +5
Letter is informative and interesting: +3
Letter describes child as "amazing" or "already an avid reader and accomplished Suzuki violinist at age 3!": -3 each
Letter is so braggy and saccharine-cheery, I wonder why I associate with these people: -3
Letter is so very braggy and saccharine-cheery, it crosses over into comical and becomes fun to read aloud in an unkind tone of voice: +2
Letter uses the word "blessed" more than one time: -1 per use (not including first use)
Letter is a sermon/evangelism disguised as a Christmas letter, and contains pious spiritual hopes for our country, for our country's leaders, for mankind, and for me personally: -5
Letter mentions details of gross surgery/illness: -1 or +1, depending on entertainment value
Letter contains thinly-veiled family gossip: +3
Letter contains information that should have been told earlier: -2

Card includes check: +5
Large check: +10
Card includes announcement of pregnancy: +10
Card from Christmas Card Friends contains surprising news of baby born since last card sent: +10

This year my own card gets:
+5 for existing
+3 for being pretty
+5 for containing a photo
+2 for containing an additional photo (a Thanksgiving shot including my parents)
+2 for containing an additional photo (a divided photo showing 4 outtakes of the Christmas photo)
+1 for being a non-Christmassy photo

Some people will get just the first photo, some will get two, and some will get three---so my card will score 14, 16, or 18 points at most, with of course the 3 points for prettiness depending on the recipient."