Hip to be Square and Other Stories

My kid is square: 35" x 35 lbs. This is according to his two year checkup the other day. He is now in the 85th percentile for height, is predicted to be 6 feet tall by age 18, and is therefore pre-disqualified for the football team. (Right?Pleasepleaseplease.)


There has been a lot of discussion in our house lately on the topic of irrational fear. It goes like this:
Boy: "No bee gonna come in the house and hurt you." (He means himself)
Me: "Nope, you're right."
Boy: "Mommy, no bee gonna come in the house and hurt you and Avery."
Me: "That's right, you're safe. Bees don't usually hurt us at all. And I won't let bees in the house."
Boy: "Mom. Mama. No bee gonna come in the house and hurt you."
You get the idea.
Recently he was taking a bath and explored that fun looking button on the faucet...which turns on the shower. Of course the water that came out was freezing cold and scared the pants off him. So now each bath starts with, "Shower not gonna hurt you."


We had possibly our last day of Indian Summer on Wednesday, and used it to drive to the city to visit the beloved free Lincoln Park Zoo. It brought back lovely memories of our previous visits, including this one. The hit of the day was most certainly the giraffe. ("No giraffe gonna come over the water and over the wall and hurt you.") We visited them three times and were kicking ourselves that we hadn't brought along his little rubber animals (birthday gift from Mimi and Papa) so we could compare and contrast. He corrected the zookeeper that referred to one bathing mass as a Hippo ("Not hippo mommy. HippoPAmus."), and saw three black "Rhymeoferous"es. He narrated 99.99999% of the day's activities, asked me 6,264 questions, and fell asleep 3.2 seconds after takeoff.


1.Grand Dede has a friend he refers to as "Big Don," or sometimes "Big Donald."
2. The Boy has been singing the song, "Old MacDonald" for months. But it never sounds exactly like that, and I've been trying to decipher exactly what he's been saying.
3. Last weekend, The Boy was invited to a Northwestern football game. He told me he would be going with Daddy, Grand Dede and "Old BigDonald."
4. Mystery solved.
(Also, hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!)