Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons I'm Ready to Move to the 'Burbs:

10. The ginormous inflatable Santa Claus/Turkey/Easter Bunny/Spiders that inhabit our neighbors' yards have lost their charm.

9. At the park, a high-heeled, chain-smoking lady growled, "That DOG needs some WATER," when we walked by her. I bet that doesn't happen in the burbs.

8. I'd like to go to a restaurant in my neighborhood that doesn't have the menu printed on a giant billboard outside.

7. 4th of July firecrackers start on July 1st, continue until all hours of the night, and finally end around August 30 (I'm exaggerating a little).

6. The constant police presence near the high school (which is a quarter of a mile away) is not exactly comforting.

5. Our across-from-the-townhomes neighbors sit on their porches in the middle of the work day, smoking "funny looking cigarettes" and drinking Miller Lite.

4. I'm SO SICK AND TIRED of people's off-leash dogs in the park, when the signs clearly state that all dogs need to be on leashes. Now, I bet this still happens in the burbs, but I bet there are more cocker spaniels off-leash than pitt-bull mixes.

3. The only evidence of gentrification in our neighborhood is the appearance of "Mustard and Onions," the hotdog stand a few blocks away.

2. I am not now, nor will I ever be, interested in eating food from the pork rind vendor. And she hogs the sidewalk.

And the Number One reason I'm ready to move to the burbs....

1. I'm trying to avoid telling the Thai food delivery guy that he cannot, in fact, drive on the sidewalk to deliver food to our door.


EDIT: I removed the link to our listing because I realized that our actual address is posted. Too bad, because there are some really nice photos of my house, if you've never been here. Oh, well. In any case, we're finally on the market, again. I'll try to post the individual pics later, in a separate post (not that you care, but just in case you do).