Dude, Where's My Manual?

I am notorious for reading manuals.

I'm so particular about it that I hardly started my new car without reading the entire manual first, cover to cover. When I teach, I use a very detailed lesson plan every day. When I cook, I almost always use a recipe.

In other words, I like to be told what to do, when to do it, and in what amount.

So when it comes to parenting, I often find myself lost without a manual. Sure, there are a ton (a TON) of books out there that give you pointers on certain things like sleep, discipline, education, etc.; but the problem is that there are a ton (a TON) of differing opinions. I find myself wishing for one book that will give me a definitive answer to all my questions. How much cereal should we start with? What should be the order of foods after that? How much sleep does my child need? What kinds of toys would he enjoy at this age (and the next and the next)? What should I be able to expect from him, developmentally? When should I start researching preschools? When should we try to join a playgroup/music class/swimming lessons? At what age should I start him on an instrument/sport/foreign language? And on and on.

Before you start to "answer all my questions" (read: "judge me for being so literal") in the comments area, know that I am fully aware that I'm ridiculously obsessive, and YES, I'm also aware that the hardest part of parenting is often using good judgement and "knowing your child."

That said, which one of you wants to write the manual?

:o)